


A Different Choice

by Chellacat



Category: Destroyer (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 19:12:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18644338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chellacat/pseuds/Chellacat
Summary: A fix it of sorts.  What if Chris deosn't take the job?





	A Different Choice

 

 

“Chris, I can’t do this again, last time you were gone for eight months. Don’t take the job, please.”

 

Her voice shook on the last word. She was begging him. The last undercover mission he took had lasted much longer than it was meant to and in that time Kat had had to bite her lip and lie any time people asked her where he was or if they’d broken up. It had been nerve wracking.

 

 

 

The FBI were never forthcoming with information on ongoing op’s and it seemed girlfriends didn’t rank up as high as agent’s wives, so she had been left in a void. No contact with Chris and no information, not even a confirmation that he was alive. She loved him, she really did, but this was a deal breaker. She couldn’t wait around again, not like this. She needed him here with her, she needed commitment. She needed him to choose her.

 

Chris looked up at her from his seat at the breakfast bar, a cooling cup of coffee only half drunk at his elbow.

 

His eyes met hers and she looked back at him helplessly. From the minute they’d met she’d known she might never breakdown the wall around his heart. He’d been hurt before, he kept himself tightly reigned. For Chris it was about control, everything in it’s place, things neatly lined up, all ready to fall where he directed. But she wasn’t a game piece on his chess board. She deserved better than this. Either make the commitment or let each other go, that was the ultimatum she had on the tip of her tongue. Choose me, pick me or don’t come back.

 

She felt tears prick at her eyes as he continued to look at her, seemingly unmoved by her desperate plea. Kat closed her eyes, the words dying on her lips. That’s not who she was, she wasn’t going to force him into something he didn’t want just to prove he cared about her.

 

She turned on her heel and grabbed her bag and coat, pocketing the car keys.

 

“I have to go, or I’ll be late… Just… Chris, please just think about it? You need a break, you’re only just back… Maybe a little more time to decompress between op’s would be good for you…” She trailed off as his eyes drifted down to the coffee mug, bringing it up to sip.

 

She made her way to the door and let herself out. The truth was that ever since coming back from his last undercover assignment he’d been different. Quiet. The easy smiles, the softness of him, somehow covered in a brittle shell. The man she fell in love with was still there, he was just harder to reach.

 

Kat tossed her bag in the passenger seat and slid into the car. She braced her hands on the wheel and bit back the tears still threatening to fall. She counted to ten and then did it again and again. She would not cry.

 

The startling knock on glass jolted her out of her self imposed mediation.

 

She lowered the window and smiled at her next door neighbour.

 

“Hi David, what’s up?”

 

“Hey, Kat, I hate to ask you this, but could you come give me a hand, I’ve dropped my house keys in the storm drain, and you have such small hands, I think you might be able to reach in and get them?”

 

“Sure, I’ll give it a shot.”

 

She smiled and got out of the car, intending to go around the back and grab her dad’s fishing pole from the trunk which would be a better bet than her trying to jam her hands between metal grates.

 

The loud bang echoed out over the street as an oncoming car’s tyer burst. She turned at the noise and froze, unable to move as the car came barrelling towards her. It happened too fast. There was nothing anyone could have done to stop it.

 

 

Chris listened as the door closed behind her and let out a sigh, rubbing at the back of his neck tiredly.

If he’s honest he’s been waiting for it to happen for a while. Every day since he got back from assignment months ago, he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to leave him. 

He wasn’t the same man. The last case had fucked badly with his head. He’d been seeing a therapist on the side, one his bosses didn’t know about. His nightmares so bad he didn’t sleep most nights, just lay in bed watching her sleep. 

She was the only thing that seemed real and he knew he was making her miserable, he didn’t understand why she was still here, not with the way he’d been pushing her away and ignoring her. The number of times he just couldn’t seem to find the words because she was the only person he couldn’t bullshit and lie to.

He’d make a promise he wouldn’t ever lie to her, it had meant silence more often than not, partially because the truth hurt to much to speak out loud and partially because he swore to himself that he’d keep that promise if it killed him. 

He tossed the mug in the sink and leaned over the to look out the window. He could see her sitting in the truck, hands braced on the wheel.

He hated what he was doing to her, he’d been sure that she’d break up with him before she left this morning. He’d told her last night at dinner about the new assignment. It would have been kinder to just tell her to leave him, but he could’t bring himself to pull the trigger in their relationship. He loved her. God he loved her so much but he didn’t deserve her.

Then the sound of a tyre blowing out had him crossing to the window, he found the car and saw the driver lose control of the wheel. Watched as it swerved, heading straight for Kat’s truck.

Icy dread caught him tight in its grip as he spotted her standing there, right in the path of the car. His shout of warning unheard through the windows. He could only watch as the events unfolded.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The hospital waiting room was cool. The stale air tinged with the smell of antiseptic and the underlying stench of blood. He stared at his hands, stained brown, the crust of it under his nails.

There had been so much blood. It had pooled around her head and shoulders, he’d ignored every piece of training he knew when he’d run out to the street, the only thing he could think of, to hold her in his arms.

She hadn’t woken, her head had struck the ground hard when David had pushed her out of the way of the car, the poor guy had died a second later after saving her, the car hitting him and crushing him between the hood and the side panel of the truck.

He’d held her till the ambulance had shown up, willing her to live just a little longer, talking to her, saying all the things he should have before, but had been too stubborn to say.

Now all he could do was wait for her to wake up. He paced for a while, thinking of the young woman he’d met the day before, Erin. She was a mystery to him, no formal training for the job, he’d been worried she wouldn’t be able to handle the work, had felt responsible for her. She had surprised him with her grit, he could admire that determination. Whether it would see her through the assignment or not he didn’t know, nor would he.

Chris pulled out his phone. Dialling the number he’d had on speed dial for the last ten years.

“Collins”

Jim Collins barked into the phone, something had already got his temper in a twist but right now Chris didn’t care how tetchy the man was.

“It’s me. I’m off the assignment. I can’t take it.”

Collins voice rose a notch until Chris had listened to his bullshit enough.

“I quit. I’ll hand in my badge ad gun as soon as I can. Kat’s in hospital I need to look after her and I’m not going back undercover again.”

The silence on the line was only slightly unnerving.

“Don’t be so dramatic Chase. I’ll sign you off, two weeks. When you come back you can take the damn promotion McDonald wants you to have and run your own damn division see how you like it.”

The call winds down quickly and Chris is left reeling from the sudden shift in his world. No more undercover.

He slipped back into the hospital room and sat by Kat’s bed, taking her hand in his and watching the monitors as they counted out the beat of her life. This is where he belonged, with her. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Consciousness drifted in slowly accompanied by a slow throbbing pain in the back of her head.

Kat squinted, blinking as she opened her eyes. Her mouth was dry and her whole body felt like a giant bruise. Turning her head she found him, slumped in a chair next to her bed. He looked peaceful, his face relaxed, his mind lost in the depth of dreams. His hair looked like he’d been running his hands through it frequently and his shirt was rumpled to a ridiculous extent. How long had she been here?

“Chris?”

He jerked in place then sat up fast, eyes when he saw her awake.

“Christ, your awake.”

He left the chair settling on the edge of the bed and taking her hand in his.

“You’ve been unconscious for three days. How are you feeling?”

“Parched.”

She answers him, feeling an odd fondness in her chest as he scrambled to get her some water and a straw. She drank slowly and watched as he fiddled with his watch. He was never this unsettled or fidgety. He kept looking at her and smiling too. When was the last time he’d looked so happily at her?

“Okay, I hit my head, right? Isn’t it me that’s meant to be the one not acting like myself…?”

Chris bit his lip, worried at at for a moment before speaking.

“I’m sorry. When I saw you…. Kat, I nearly lost you. You’ve always stood by me, through everything, even when things got bad, you didn’t give up on me. Even when I pushed you away you kept trying to reach me. I’ve not been there for you. Nearly loosing you, fuck… I’m… I need you to know things are going to change, I mean it. No more undercover work. I’ll be on a desk from now on. I hope I haven’t blown it, that we can still-“

She cut him off, one finger pressed to his lips as his eyes filled with unshod tears, hers too, were glassy with emotion.

“I love you. Do you love me?”

His reply came instantly.

“I love you, I am so in love with you it scares me princess.”

“Then that’s enough. Just promise, you won’t stop talking to me again. It hurt, it really hurt.”

“I swear. From now on, no more silence. I never want to miss the chance again to tell you how important you are to me.”

She felt the tears spill down her cheeks at his words, reaching for him, he moved forward, drawing her into his arms and holding her close. She still hurt, outside and inside but she felt hopeful. She could see it in his eyes, something had changed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

6 Months Later

 

“Chris? We need you on the Nevada desk, some OP you were involved in way back just blew up. Complete clusterfuck. Collins wants your assessment of a sheriff deputy they had UC. Looks like she went native.”

Chris took the case file and flicked it open. The photo of Erin looked back, she looked bad, strung out. Fuck. He knew she was too green for the OP.

“Tell him I’ll be down in five. Looks like we’re pulling overtime then.”

His colleague nods and leaves the office as Chris picks up the phone.

“Hey baby, gonna be late tonight, I’ll call if I won’t make dinner okay?”

Kat’s sweet voice drifted over the line assuring him it was fine,

“How the bump?”

He chucked as she lectured him in not calling their baby a bump.

“I promise I won’t miss the appointment tomorrow, I’ll be there.”

He could hear the smile in her voice as she said goodbye.

He put the phone down and shook his head sadly as he picked up the file again. Such a waste of a career and a life. He was just thankful he’d stayed where he was and not got mixed up in the whole mess. He briefly touched the wedding photo in his desk as he passed it. He was exactly where he was meant to be.

 

 


End file.
